Shows Promise
The animation shows a lot of promise. I'm never all that fond of stick animations, as an artist, I tend to think of them as a cop out. However, yours was nicely animated. I do however have some suggestions.
People have a nasty habit of randomly appearing and dissapearing. I don't know if they're supposed to do that, but you might want to show some frames making them slowly fade away if you want them to be able to turn invisible.
I've also noticed that you tend to over do the slow-mo thing. It can be cool, but, like I said, it's a little over done.
Also, lastly, try to clean up the english a little bit. I know, it may be silly, but it's really jarring to me when words are misspelled and the grammar is all off. It makes it hard to read, and I actually missed some things in the animation because I was trying to read the text.
Thats all! keep up the good work! And I am looking forward to part 2.